sang bintang lapangan

Okee.. Setelah bbrp saat vakum menulis blog ini. Gw akan membuat sebuah postingan tentang kehidupan gw akhir" ini.
Dimulai dari hari Kamis tanggal 19 november 2009, gw menonton pertandingan futsal yg diadain sm anak UI.
Ceritanya hr itu, kampus gw akan bertanding melawan Unpad di babak perempat final.
Berbekal gaya freestyle, akhirnya kampus gw, London School harus ikhlass seikhlas-ikhlasnya menerima kekalahan 6-0 melawan universitas Padjajaran Dago.
Bermodal 2 supporter setia yaitu gw dan dana, kampus gw bener² dibantaiii habiss oleh unpad dago.
Namun, karena memang unpad dago memang sangat berpengalaman, gw pun akhirnya ikhlas.
Akhirnyaa.. Seluruh tim futsal LSPR plus gw dan dana mendukung penuh tim futsal unpad.

Pertandingan demi pertandingan dilalui, sang bintang lapanganpun mulai bersinarrrr..
Dan dia adalah APIS. Sang kapten dari tim futsal Unpad. Bernomor punggung 5.
YA, pertandingan demi pertandingan dilewati.. Sinarnya semakin ceraaah..
Mental sang kapten benarrr-benarr ada di dalam dirinya.
Ahhhh.. Kanggg apisss! Tunjukk akuuu! *NGAREP*

Hari ini gw dpt kabar dr dana, katanya apis itu nama aslinya REYNATO, anak FIKOM UNPAD.
Hmmmmmm..
Kang Reynatooo.. Saya teh ngefanssss! Edaaan..

some energy please!

Your Gift Is Energy

You are easily excitable, and you love to be on the go. You crave intensity. You need to live a dynamic, interesting, and challenging life. Otherwise, you get bored. It's hard for you to relax. You're constantly being inspired to do something. You're the type of person who finds success, innovation, and creativity easy.

What's Your Gift?

fruit salad

You Are Fruit Salad

You are a light-hearted and carefree person. You see the happy, colorful side of life. You are naturally sweet and kind. You believe it's important to be easy on people. Even when you have to criticize, you try to be as gentle as possible. If you ended up hurting someone, it would hurt you just as much. You're very sensitive.

What Kind of Salad Are You?

happy 1st anniversary!! finallyyy...

HURRAAAY..
finally.. hubungan yang tadinya sangat meragukan ini akhirnya terbukti sudah.. hohohoho
nyampe 1 taunnnnnnnn juga akhirnyaaaa..
gw berharap hubungan ini bisa terus abadi sampe nanti gw mati.. AMINN..
hmm..
what can i say today?
ga ada apa" sih sebenernya.. tapi gw merasa istimewa aja hari ini..
sungguh istimewa.. :)

preferably black or red!!

You Should Drive a Pink Car

You're the type of driver who really loves your car. You can make a car last for ages - or take good care of a vintage ride. You're independent, creative, and very expressive. You consider your car a part of you ... and you want to make it as funky as possible.

What Color Car Should You Drive?

kiddos..

You Are Cereal

Playful and lighthearted, breakfast is likely your favorite meal of the day. (In fact, you're probably the type who sneaks cereal as a midnight snack.) Your culinary skills are probably a bit lacking... and you are a sucker for junk food. Some people accuse you of eating like a kid, but you prefer to think of yourself as low maintenance.

What Kind of Breakfast Are You?

funhouse, am i?

You Are a Funhouse

You are an open, flexible person who is able to see the world through many perspectives. Self reflective and honest, you're able to take a hard, objective look at yourself (even if you don't like what you see!). In relationships, you are a bit of a narcissist. But you can't really help it... You're by far the most interesting person you know! Your life is a bit perplexing. Things aren't always what they seem - even to you. You've successfully cultivated an enigmatic reputation. But you're still a mystery to yourself. Deep down, you often feel a little lost in the world. And you're okay with that. Trapdoors and dead ends are something you expect. You just enjoy figuring out what it all means. At your best, you are self aware and savvy. You know yourself well... including where you've been and where you're going. At your worst, you are vain, self centered, and egotistical. You sometimes look so far inward... it's the only thing you see.

What Carnival Ride Are You?

i'm a DAD???

You Are the Father

You are a strong, powerful figure in the lives of your friends and families. In general, you value justice and fairness. You appreciate structure and rules. At your best, you protect and guide those close to you. You are a born leader. You are good at establishing order in chaotic situations. At your worst, you are a tyrant who rules through intimidation and criticism. You are quick to condemn other people as pathetic losers not worth your time.

What Family Role Do You Play?

this is what my handbags say about me.. haha

What Your Handbag Says About You

You tend to be relaxed throughout the day. You are naturally at peace. You are a high maintenance person. You feel lost outside of your normal environment. You are a very creative person. Your life tends to be a whirlwind, but you always seem to pull it together. You are practical and down to earth. You tend to be a rather reserved and quiet person. You are a very unique and special person. There's no one else who is anything like you.

What Does Your Handbag Say About You?

yay.. i tend to be FRIDAY the frightened day!

You Are Friday

Like this day of the week, you are ruled by Venus. More than anything, you are outgoing. You are a very affectionate, caring person. You love being with others. Deep down, you crave attention. You are secretly quite vain. Friday tends to be a very social day, which fits you perfectly. You don't like the structure of the work week. You're always waiting for the weekend.

What Day of the Week Are You?

chicken noodle soup.. hmm..

You Are Chicken Noodle Soup

You are a traditional and conservative person. You value the past, and change frightens you. You are very loyal, especially to your family. You prefer a low-key life, with lots of time spent at home. You like soup because it's easy, quick, and cheap. You tend to have a favorite soup you stick to. Why change a good thing?

What Kind of Soup Are You?

i'm an ALT?

You Are "alt"

Some people might find you to be strange, mysterious, and even a bit off putting. You tend to be drawn to and influenced by alternative lifestyles. You're definitely not normal. Once people get to know you, they realize you're interesting, intriguing, and very intelligent. You have a lot of knowledge stored in that big brain of yours. Most of it is useless knowledge, but some of it is very useful.

What Keyboard Key Are You?

simbiosis mutualisme..

SHIT.. DAMN.. GROUNDED..HURT..

itulah mungkin sebagian kecil yg bisa mewakili keadaan hati gw sekarang!
gw bener" lagi terpuruk..
entah harus gimana lagi gw menghadapi semua ini.
gw cuma bisa pasrah mungkin.
udah ga ada yang peduli juga sama gw..
bahkan orang" yg ngakunya SAHABAT, malah nganggep gw aneh! hmm.. gimana ga aneh?
jelaslaah gw aneh, orang keadaan kok yang bikin gw kaya gini. keadaan yg bikin mental gw terganggu.. bikin kondisi psikis gw terguncang dengan sangat hebat. sungguh hidup memang kejam.

gimana ya memulainya? gw sendiri juga bingung kalo disuruh nyeritain dari awal.
ahahaha mungkin yg udah pernah baca postingan di blog gw sebelum"nya udah ngerti kalii kenapa gw bisa ngadepin situasi yang kaya skrg..

YAP!!

penyebabnya adalah karena cowo.. hmmm...
keluarga gw ga setuju sama hubungan yg gw jalanin ini, gw bener" terpuruk.

dan yang tadinya "dia" yakin sama hubungan ini, malah berubah haluan jadi ga yakin. SHITTT MAN..
gw bingung sejadi"nya.. MAUNYA APA?

dan yang bikin gw tambah gundah gulana,resah,dan uring"an adalah..
MENGAPA DIA MENJADI PEMBOHONG SKRG?
such a liar!!
gw benci dibohongin..
gw benci ditipu
gw benci ditutup"in dari kenyataan yg ada!

gw udah ngasih kepercayaan penuh ke dia..
tp kenapa begini jadinya???
kalo gw berbuat begitu, apa dia mau nerima alesan gw?????

sungguh makhluk adam ga ada yg bisa ngebuat gw 100% settle..
mereka pengen dipercaya, tp ga bisa ngejaga kepercayaan. bagaimanakah kaum hawa mempertahankan kepercayaannyaaaa??

JAWABLAH WAHAI KAUM ADAMM...

kalian membuat para kaum hawa harap-harap cemas menunggu kabar..
kalian membuat para kaum hawa kehilangan kepercayaan..
kalian membuat kaum hawa yg lemah ini semakin terpuruk ke dalam keadaan yg sangat sulit..
keberadaan kalian hanya membuat kami para kaum hawa terkadang naik ke awang" dan di lain waktu kalian hanyalah seonggok manusia ga berguna yang membuat kami terjun bebas dari awang" khayalan yg SEOLAH" kalian buat indah ituu..

AKU GA BUTUH ITU SEMUA!!!
yang kubutuhkan hanyalah rasa aman dan nyaman serta rasa saling percaya yang sungguh".. bukan rasa percaya yg datang dari setu pihak. seperti simbiosis mutualisme yg saling menguntungkan.. bukan simbiosis parasitisme yg merugikan salah satu pihak.


aaaah...

HOW TO FIX THIS BROKEN FEELINGS?

im smelling his blood!so close to me..

Hmm..
What can I share now?
I'm so grounded!
I feel like killing someone.. An old fucking bastard exactly!
I can't stand it anymore. Really need some killing equipments.
Ohhh damn, what do I suppose to do?
Soooooooooooo confuse. Sooooo grounded! I wish killing someone isn't a sin.
I desperately want to kill that old bastard! Damn!!!!
Helpppp me! Help meeee.. Calm me down..
Somebody please help me!!
I even can't help myself.. Since I'm a moody girl.

Ahh, betapa kangennya gw nulis" di blog gw..
Since I don't have much time to post this thing. I'll try to make it fast. ;)
From where should I start?
Hmmmm.....
Mungkin gw akan mulai dengan hal" yang paling uptodate dari gw..
1. Gw lg berencana menguruskan badan sekitar 7 kilo.
2. Gw pengen liburan bareng someone special gw which is my monkey!
3. Akhir" ini gw lg depresi karna suatu penyakit yg aneh. It kills me!
4. Akhir" ini hidup gw lebih berwarna karna my relationship is actually getting stronger
and stronger.

Ok mungkin itu adalah gambaran update tentang gw akhir" ini. Dan berhubung saat ini adalah bulan
Desember yg notabene akan menjadi bulan terakhir di setiap tahunnya dan sebentar lagi
New year's coming! Yay! Makaaaaa dari itu, gw ingin membuat sebuah wishlist
dan planning kecil"an buat menyambut Natal 2008 dan Tahun Baru 2009.

Daaaan inilah wishlist gw :
* ingin keadaan berjalan lebih baik dari sebelumnya
* ingin tambah dewasa pastinya. Ga childish lagi!
* I want to be a better person absolutely! Who doesn't?

Dan itulah wishlist dan planning gw.. Ga muluk" kok! Hahaha

Yaudah ah, cape ngetik. Haahha dadahhhh..
XOXO

sebuah curahan hati!

hmm.. mau mulai dari mana yaaaaaa?
ceritanya panjanggg bgt sihhhh.. :(

okeee okeeeee
beginiii ceritanyaaaa..
akhir-akhir ini hati gw lagi ga beres bgt.
sediiiiihhh terusss
ga tenangggg..

penyebabnya yaaaaaa gara2 akhir-akhir ini gw lagi ngerasa jauuh bgt sama temen-temen gw.
mungkin bukan mereka yang ngejauh, tapi gw yang ngejauh.
gw pun ngejauh bukan tanpa alasan kok.
gw ngerasa ga nyaman aja sama temen-temen gw.. yaah, mungkin karena gw takut juga kali.. takut mereka ga bisa nerima keadaan gw yang sekarang.
hmm, tapiiiiiii...
sekali lagi gw pengen bilang, ini hidup gw..
mereka semua berhak ga setuju, berhak buat komentar, kasih saran, apapun lah..
tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..
ya gw berhak dong ngambil keputusan kaya gini? mereka juga kayanya ga peduli dengan keputusan gw? mereka fine-fine aja..

susaaaaaaahhh temenan sama orang yang GA NGERTI arti persahabatan sesungguhnya, yang GA PERNAH ngerasain serunya kebersamaan, yang GA PERNAH ngerasain susah bareng disaat temen lagi susah!!!!!!!!!!!! gw kesel.. gw nyesel.. kenapa masa-masa SMA gw laluin dengan amat sangat PLAIN! gw pengen SOMETHING kaya waktu di SMP.
pengen dihukum bareng-bareng 1 angkatan, cabut brg..
semua kebersamaan ga perlu kok dibayar dengan kemewahan.. yang penting semuanya ngerasain seneng!

GW BENCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
GW NYESEL......


boleh kan kali ini ajaa gw nyalahin keadaan??

just random things

hari ini bener" tersiksaaaaa..
gara" makan lidi yang superpedessss, gw jadi poop darahh.. arrgh.
kesel dehh..
trus yang bikin makin nyiksaaaa, gw mulesss terus, jadinya ga berenti" poop. huh.
makin sakitt aje ni pantat.. astagaaaa!!

kangen dana..
kangeeeeeeeenn sekaliiiii..
padahal kemaren baru ketemu. huhuhu
tetep aja kangennn..

hmm,
what can i say about mylife now?
ASIK GILAAA! hehehe
senengggg bgttt..
dari tgl 20 april 2008, udah ada orang yang nemenin hari" gw. dan gw berharap ini ga akan ada akhirnya. karna baru kali ini gw ngerasain nemu "the one" nya gw.. ga ngerti juga ini karna emosi sesaat apa gimana, tapi jujur aja gw belom ngerasain kaya gitu sebelomnya.
walaupun hubungan gw sama dia banyak ditentang dari sana sini, tapi gw mau tetep berjuang dan berusaha buat hubungan ini. gw terlalu sayang untuk nyerah gitu aja karna dia adalah sosok yang sangaaatt amaaaat pantes buat diperjuangin.. :)

LOVE YOU,K!

thankful

hari ini cuma mauuu posting ttg betapaaaa bersyukurnya gw karna gw akhirnya dipertemukan dengan seseorang yang bisa mengubah pandangan gw tentang segala hal.

i believe there will be a way for us. amenn..
baru kali ini ngerasain sayang bgt sama seseorang sampe kaya gini. sampe ga berani ngebayangin kalo gw uda ga sama dia lagi. huhuhu.

sebelom"nya gw belom pernah ngerasain sayanggg bgt sama cowo sampe kaya gni. gw ngerasa kali ini relationship gw bakal beda dari yang lain. padahal pertamanya, gw ga yakin sama hubungan ini, karena gw pikir dia ga bakal serius juga sama gw. akhirnya gw ga berani untuk jujur sama perasaaan gw sendiri. tapi semakin dijalanin, gw semakin ngerasain sesuatu yang beda dari dia. makanya skrg gw ngerasa bersyukur bgttt karna dia bisa jadi bagian dari hidup gw.

I MISS YOU ALL

HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

lagi sebel. lagi sebel.......
ga tau kenapa. pokoknya sebel...
ga jelasssss bgt nih. kacau total perasaan gw.. pengen ngamuk. tp ga bisa!!!

KANGEN HOUSEMATES YANG PASTIII..
lagi kepengen ketemu and settle down di suatu tempat yangggggg cuma ada anak" pandan valley. huh.
pengennn pelukkk housemates. hiksss..
gw bencii bgttt perasaan kaya gini. perasaan kangennn!sedih, pengen nangis.

METTA..
ERVANIE..
UUY..
MENONG..
PAMELA..
UCHAY..

I MISS U ALL..

pengennnnnnnnnnn cerita" kaya dlu lagi.
pengen masak" bareng lagiii.
pengen supper barenggg..
pengen order kfc pas exam.
pengen ke cafe del mar.
pengen ke MOS barengggg..

everything seems so blur

hari ini lumayan seneng, setelah 2 hari begadang" nungguin telfon dari seseorang. huh. anehhhh.. kenapa juga gw musti nungguin telfon dari dia. berharap-harap cemas sang handphone bakal berderingggg?? padahal kan gw udah tau, kalo hpnya dia ketinggalan di mobil temennya..

oh iya, sekedar mengupdate info..
kemaren ini gw akhirnya memutuskan untuk bilang sayang ke dia. aaaaahh..
semoga ini keputusan yang bener.
walopun pasti banyak pihak yang kecewa dengan keputusan gw ini. maaf kawan"..
gw janji, semua resiko, semua kesedihan, semua kesenangan, dan semuanya bakal gw telen sendiri. gw ga mau ngerepotin orang lain lagi.

kemaren kelas komputer bareng sama dia..
senengggg.. duduk sebelahan. tsaaaahh!
pokoknya senengggg..

anyway..
gw baru perna ngerasain sayang sama cowo yang bedaaaaaaa TOTAL dari gw.
dia sangat percaya ramalan bintang sedangkan gw engga
dia percaya love at first sight sedangkan gw engga
dia hitam gw putih [looh?] kok jadi rasis??
dia kriting gw lurus
dia jago nyanyi sedangkan suara gw pas"an

huaaaaaaa..
sayang dia
sayang dia
sayang si kriwil lucuuu..
sayang dwi dana putra masli.